This image of a medicine wheel or 4 directions symbol appeared after a Lakota inipi, or sweatlodge ceremony in the spring of 1983.  After 25 years it was brought out and is now being shared with the world. All miracles are a blessing and meant to help strengthen a persons faith that god really does exist. Soon this website will help share the real meaning of why this happened. For now this copy of the original photo is here to share with all people that want it.  It's ok to download it for yourself or even share with others. Just right click on the photo and save it. If you feel like you need to have a higher quality photo just send an email to mitbh44@gmail  with a short explanation of why you want it.  I strongly encourage you not to sell  or use this photo to make money.   ZKZ 

     

03-28-12 I want to start by asking you to think about why this photo is free.

 

03-30-12 Today i will start to tell the story about this miracle that happened in 1983, but this is not just about the miracle, but the meaning of it and why it happened. I'm not a writer and i don't have anyone helping me write this, so please excuse my errors in grammar, but i will tell you these things sincerely and from the heart, and as truthfully as i can. All storys have a beginning, a middle, and an end. i don't think i will tell you this story in that order. First i must tell you i am just a simple man, i have no real powers. The only power i think i was blessed with is compassion, the ability to have great compassion for people , and even animals and plants, later i will tell a story about how i received this blessing.

  You may have some preconceptions about the things i am going to say. i can tell you now most of these preconceptions are misconceptions. What i will be trying to talk about is pure objective truth, the word objective is important. It means removed from the actual thing that's happening. This is about our earth and everything living on it. i want you to think about something now. Look at the smallest blade of grass or leaf with a magnifying glass. look at how complicated it is, and just think about how every living thing is in it own way designed to be part of the larger world. Does it really make any sense that our creator would create something that is out of control?

 

 04-04-12 Humans too are part of the larger world, we have gone through many stages of evolution. All living things evolve to fit into nature. At one time long ago all humans lived within nature, without a need for clothes. Then at a certain time we were chosen for a certain purpose. There are many storys about what happened. Christians believe in The Garden Of Eden Story. It was the time when Adam and Eve were given the choice to live in the garden and be part of nature, or eat the apple and be outside the circle of nature.

  Here we also had a Lakota holy man named Black Elk, he had a vision and told about it, a very basic version is. He said long ago all humans lived in  circles, then there will come a time all the circles will become broken , and the tree of life will almost die, then the circles will start again. Some believe he meant people lived in tipis in a circle. I believe really he means that all humans lived within nature, in the circle of life, then a little at a time all humans began to live outside of nature. Now there are only a few remaining tribes in remote areas that can totally live without money. When these few tribes are gone, all the circles will be broken and the tree of life will almost die.

 

04-06-12 So you might be asking why I'm telling you these things, it's because we need to have a basic understanding about our true purpose in life. Even though it may be somewhat painful to accept that we are not really a superior living thing. Truth always creates a picture much more beautiful than misconception. If we understand this truth, we can understand what's happening to our earth much more clearly. We need to see ourselves almost as if we were looking down at earth from far away, because we are too involved with the drama around us to see things objectively. Imagine you are far from earth, and each day of your life equals a year on earth. If you were looking at earth the last 3 or 4 thousand years, you would have started to see very small dark spots on the earth. at first they are barely noticeable, but over time they begin to get a little larger and there are more of them. Then at a certain point a few hundred years ago these dark places begin to grow very quickly. Now we are at a point that these dark spots cover most of the earth. It's obvious something is happening to the health of the earth, as you look even closer you can see each of these dark spots has thousands ,or even millions of humans. As you look down from space you would see this life form we call humans is causing these dark spots.

 

 04-07-12 Now i think we can talk a little about what really is happening to the earth we are part of. There are two main groups of thinking about global warming. You believe it is real , or you don't really think it's real. If you really don't think it's real, then this website probably isn't for you. We must talk a little more about mans evolution. A very long time ago man depended on a certain kind of thinking to survive, it was more necessary to be able to sense small things. like changes in the weather. We also noticed animals more and the things they do that would warn of a difficult winter, or some change coming. Most of us have lost these abilities, but deep inside many there is still some of these old senses. For example sometimes you go outside and you can feel that there is rain coming. Or you go outside on a very hot windy day, and you feel a certain kind of stress in the air. These are the kind of abilities all humans had long ago, only much more.

  Now man has evolved to have different abilities, to use different senses and a different part of the brain. I believe man is evolving faster than at any time in the past. This modern species of man has very high abilities to think quickly, and make decisions that will make their lives more comfortable. From the time we are 3 or 4 years old we are taught that to be a good productive person, we must go to college ,and then we will get a good job and have a good life. And in many ways in today's world this is true. To be very poor can be a very hard life. But i must tell you even though we think this is the purpose of life, really i believe the creator created this evolved human species to help our mother earth in another way. Our mother earth is a living thing that needs to complete her life cycle. I believe the human species was chosen to help her in this way.  This is why i have been trying to help you see the evolution of humans from a different perspective. Look at any other living thing and try to understand its purpose in nature. Lets take a honey bee just for example, it has many purposes in nature. One very important purpose is that when it gathers pollen, it pollinates the plant, but if the bee could talk , i think it would say its main goal in life is to make honey for themselves and the other bees, they have no idea they are pollinating plants.  I think if you ask most humans what their purpose in life is, they will tell you its to get a good job so they can have a good life, for themselves and their family. But you see humans, like the bees, have another purpose in nature that they really can't see or understand. Everyday just through our normal activity's we change the earth. some of us much more than others. This is one of the truths that is painful to accept. But you must understand the creator doesn't make mistakes. We are meant to do the things we are doing.

 

 04-09-12 My friends this is the real answer to climate change, scientists will tell you if we do this or that, by a certain date we can avoid the tipping point, but try to think deeply about this. Does it really seem likely people will change their nature ? Could you ask a bee to stop gathering pollen and making honey? And really expect they will?

 

04-20-12 I know this type of thinking is not for everyone, as i said before pure objective truth can be very painful, but it can lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves and the mother earth we are all part of. Try not to think of this modern human species in a bad way. If it was not necessary this species would not exist. If you really try to accept this truth it will open your eyes to many things. I'm going to tell you of just one thing now that will be shocking and controversial just to say it. Most of you will laugh and not believe this, but i promised i would say the truth.

 

  The next time you are watching television, or even in your daily life, look around you and try to see how many men are experiencing hair loss. This is part of the rapid evolution of man. Now a very high percentage of men are completely bald, or experiencing dramatic hair loss. For a long time partially bald men have been common, but completely bald men were rare. But starting in the late 1990s men begin to lose their hair almost like cancer patients. The whole head goes bald or a very large part of it in a short time. They have devised hair styles to try to hide it as long as possible. IE. combing the hair into the center of the head and using gel or hair products to try to disguise hair loss, also shaving the head, or wearing hats like stocking hats or fedoras, have become popular ways to hide hair loss. Many men now are starting to lose their hair before they are 20 years old. You might ask what this really has to do with anything. These are outward signs of changes taking place inside. Its about seeing the small things that are changing, and we don't even notice them. If your mind is open you will see the truth. Man is evolving very quickly now.

 

 

 05-3-12 The mind must be open to a different way of thinking to see these changes that are happening to all living things on the earth, The changes are small and gradual and because the human species has evolved to a different kind of thinking, most people are not seeing them. Try to watch the very small things around you, the time plants bloom or begin to get green each year . When birds migrate, or even unusual changes in insects. Now most people don't live within nature so it's harder to notice these things. But if you try you will see them . Some plants and trees will bloom or turn green much earlier, some of them will adapt and continue to grow, but you will begin to see some plants and trees begin to die because they can not accept these quick changes. Unusual things will start to happen soon to all species of life on earth.

  Long ago humans possessed the ability for deep thought, what i mean by this is that one question leads to another question and another , and on and on. At the end of these long series of questions is objective truth, a truth not affected by other peoples opinions but by very long deep thought. Sometimes a man or woman can spend their whole life trying to find the truth of just one question, like the meaning of life. With enough effort they may become enlightened, like Christ , or Buddha , or many other saints or prophets that have walked the earth.

  I will just say now the things I'm telling you  come from this kind of thought, soon i will be telling you the story of the miracle medicine wheel that happened almost 30 years ago , and how it transformed my mind. I was blessed to receive this miracle for a certain purpose. I am only a helper for any of you that will listen. The visible miracle that happened is to help give you faith in what i say . that it doesn't come just from me. very soon big changes will start to happen to our earth. I can tell you absolutely the scientists are wrong. It will not take 50 or 100 years for these things to happen. We only have 20 or 21 more years until the earth completes its circle, and the tree of life will almost die. Every year from now on you will see great changes start to happen in the weather, that means some places may be cooler than average, but most places will be much warmer. Many of the great rainforest that cleanse the air will burn and not survive, and this is where the snowball effect really begins. These great rain forests and forests will burn, adding more Co2 instead of cleansing it from our air, Fires everywhere on earth will get larger and larger each year. You will see strong tornados in places they never existed before. Because there will be large fires it's likely you will see tornados and fire together, becoming a tornado filled with fire.

  In many places in the world millions of people depend on mountain water from Glaciers, or water from wells deep inside the earth to live and grow food. Soon this water will dry up and stop, many of these people will try to move to the large cites to survive. These cites will be overwhelmed and their water depleted. Water rationing will begin everywhere, soon the price of clean water, and food will reach unbelievable prices. Economic hardship will be the first thing that will affect everyone on earth.

  Of course there are many other factors that will affect all life on earth, none of them are very good for the human species. Having a great deal of money can provide protection for a certain time, but even for the rich, life will eventually become very difficult. I think you can imagine what will happen if millions of people are starving and going without water. Animal instincts will take over and people will do whatever they have to do to survive. I'm just telling you these things so we can really accept the truth about what's coming. The people that make fuel efficient cars, or invent better ways to produce power can not save us from what's coming. It's time to accept it. This thing that is coming cannot be stopped, anymore than you could stop a powerful river. or a Tsunami traveling across the ocean. It's coming, and soon it will be here.

 

5-16-12 Today i will start to tell the story of this miracle that happened in the spring of 1983, i know many will see this photo and say it's just a lens reflection. And even those that do see something more, many will not understand what i will tell you, but you see for me, it's not important the number of people that really listen and believe in what i say. In the spring of 2008 i had a powerful dream and was told to do this, I was told to use this miracle in this way. for many years i prayed in vision quests and inipis to be a helper for the creator and mother earth. now i am just doing what i was told to do. I will do anything i can to help those of you that listen. I believe it will only be a few. maybe none. But for some of you this might be like a seed that grows in your thoughts. At first it may seem like a fantasy or the ramblings of a crazy person. But as our mother earth changes and things begin to get worse, maybe the older species that still exists in many of us will tell you. Go to this place and see if there is truth there. I will be waiting there to help anyone that comes with a sincere heart.

 

5-18-12 I think for this story to make sense , i must first tell you about myself. My name is Dave Hansen. I grew up in a place called Rapid City , South Dakota. My parents both grew up on a ranch or as farmers, like many people they migrated to the city for economic reasons. They were very good parents and tried to encourage myself and my two brothers to think for ourselves about what to do in life. My mothers parents home steaded in the black hills in the early 1900's, and this is where this photo was taken. At a small piece of land i got through my parents and grandparents. Their name was Pahkamaa. My grandmothers parents name was Juso, and they also homesteaded a little farther away in the late 1800's.

 As i was growing up usually every week we would go to my grandmothers, she still lived on this land in the original log house. This is in one of the highest valleys in the black hills. I loved to go there and go hiking and follow the stream called Elk creek, in this valley there are dozens of springs. At that time it was still very remote, very few people ever went to some of these places. I remember i always got a certain feeling from being in the most far away places, i felt like i was part of nature and didn't want to leave. I was probably only 7 or 8 years old, and more than once i got in trouble for making my parents worry and wait for me, but it seemed like once i started to go upstream it was hard for me to stop until i reached the very farthest springs. Then i liked to just stay there, i would feel something special there. By the time i would return to my grandmothers house it would be almost dark. I knew i was in trouble, but i couldn't stop myself. Eventually my parents got used to this and didn't worry so much.

 

 5-19-12 As i grew up i was taught Christian beliefs, my parents were Lutheran. I remember i was very affected by these things i learned about Christ. Mostly how much he loved the poor people. But as i was learning these things i also began to have questions in my mind about the teachings. I remember asking the bible teacher once about if you don't accept Christ you will go to hell. I asked him what about people in other country's that have never heard of Christ. He said yes if they don't accept Christ they will burn in hell. It just didn't sound right to me. I know now maybe this was just his opinion , and all Christians may not believe this. But i think this was the beginning of my search for the truth about life and mans relationship with god. I was 9 or 10 years old i think.

 

5-27-12 During my younger years i continued to spend lots of time on this land, at a certain point my grandmother got too old to stay in such a remote place by herself. My uncles and aunts and my mother made the decision to divide the land into parcels and sell it so my grandmother would have some income, and she moved to the town called Deadwood where she lived until her death in the early 1970s. Of course if i had any choice it never would have been sold, but i was only about 11 or 12 when this happened. I guess it made some sense at the time to do this .

 My parents were able to get 2 parcels next to each other after this happened, they put an old air stream camper on one of them and it was a good place to go on weekends. When i was 12 i started to go hunting with my dad and my uncles on my mothers side. To me it was like a dream to go into the woods at the break of dawn and spend the day in nature. Later when i was 14 i got a drivers permit and i was able to go to this land with friends, or by myself sometimes. I found out that really i wanted to be at this place all the time. The feeling was so much different than being in the city.

 

6-1-12 As i got older i continued to be drawn more to nature, i wouldn't say i was unintelligent , but i really seemed to lose interest in school. In my last 2 years of high school i felt more drawn to spending my time in the woods and in remote places. I dreamed about moving to northern British Columbia in Canada. I read books about this place and how wild it still was. I also spent alto of time really thinking about god ,religion and the truth about life. In my last year of high school i went hunting almost every day from October to January. Needless to say this made graduating that year almost impossible. I talked to my parents about possibly quitting high school. They really weren't happy about this, but finally they agreed that if i would get a GED. diploma they would accept my decision to quit. So i remember going to the testing place for GED. and i took the test . I really didn't study but i passed it easily. My parents suggested maybe i should join the military, and i gave it serious thoughts, but i just couldn't see myself in such a structured life. I had very different ideas about what i wanted to do.

 

 6-13-12 Somehow i found out one of our neighbors was in the logging business, so in the spring i got a job working for him. I was driving a tractor called a skidder,which pulls the trees out of the woods, and i was only 17 which was not really legal for me to do at the time. I would get up about 4am everyday and he would pick me up. We had to get to our work site by sunrise. I had never really wanted to be a logger , but i did want to be in the woods , so this was the best way i could think of to be in the place i wanted to be. I did really like it compared to the other jobs i might be able to get.

 After 4 or 5 months i was able to buy a pickup, and i had the option to cut trees since i had my own transportation. I bought a chainsaw and started doing this. It gave me even more freedom since i was being paid by the amount i would cut. It was about this time i started living in the camper on my parents land, I was getting closer to my goal to live there all the time. This was really my dream. It wasn't too long after this my parents gave me the option to buy their extra parcel of land, i think they understood how much it meant to me , and although my brothers also liked it there, they never had a great interest to live there. Now i just had to find a way to build a house so i could live there. My grandparents were master log house builders so i started to learn how to build with logs. The Jusos and Pahkamaas had built dozens of log structures in the black hills, some were very well known.

 I decided i would cut down 50 good size trees and drag them to my land, i peeled them and stacked them, hoping somehow i would find a way to build even a small log house. I remember thinking at the time, maybe i could learn how to do these things here ,and then move to a really remote place in Canada.  Of course I'm leaving out many details about my life out. I did have a few years about this time i drank alcohol, and even became involved with drugs. it was during this time i met a woman and we got married. This changed my plans alto , i thought i should be more practical and i took a job working for the railroad. This was at the time of the big boom in coal mining , and the railroad was really expanding. I started out working as a laborer, and eventually became a brakeman. It was a good job as far as the pay , but i really wasn't happy because i wasn't living where i really wanted to live. My marriage ended after a little over a year, it was a big disappointment. Something traumatic happened to me at that time. I continued to work for the railroad, but i transferred to Colorado. I would say this was kind of a low point in my life, for a period of time i don't think i really cared if i lived or died. I continued using drugs and alcohol for another year or so until i had a few experiences that kind of woke me up. I looked at my life and asked myself what the hell was i doing? All during this time in the back of my mind was how can i live on that land? I kind of dedicated my work to saving enough so i could quit this job and move there with a little money.

  The one good thing about my job on the railroad is we had lots of time to read. We would sit in one place for long periods of time, and also sometimes stay in a hotel for a day or even two waiting to be called to work. I decided i would spend most of my time learning the things i wanted to learn about being self sufficient. I also had a great need to understand all the religions. I learned about Hindu, Moslem, and Buddhist, religions, along with many other less well known faiths. Also i was reading all the well known philosophers. These books seemed to lead me to other books. It was about this time i also read about native American beliefs, like Black Elk Speaks, and Lame Deer seeker of visions, and many others too. When i read them i was amazed how much i felt the same way about nature. I always knew there was a power in these remote places i loved, i could feel it when i was there.

 

6-16-12 As i read more about native American life and beliefs i started to understand just how close my own thinking and beliefs were to them.  I had always wanted to live close to nature and i knew there was a power in the earth. I was also affected by the way i saw man living on earth. I felt anger and sadness at the way i saw nature disappearing , and cites and pollution taking over the world. I  wanted to live on my land so much , but i still did not really have enough money to build a house there. I decided i would try to purchased a tipi and see if i could live in that while i find a way to build a log house. I had read about how living in a tipi brings you closer to nature. I was still in Colorado when i got my tipi. It was a really good one made for winter living , with a 9 foot liner , and a stovepipe hole so i could have a wood stove in the winter. I put it up at a friends house in Colorado and started to learn about living in it.  Then in the spring  of 1982 i took it to my land and set it up there.

  For about a year before this i started to really become interested in lakota thinking and religion, the way to pray with a pipe and the sacred ceremonies. I knew there was only so much you can learn from reading, but i did learn about respect for mother earth and all living things from these books. I wanted to live these things. I got a pipe and started to pray with it, I remember i prayed alot for mother earth that somehow people would begin to respect her and care for her more. I also prayed that the great spirit would take pity on me and help me.  I built a inipi out of willows, i remember i did not really know how and the roof was very pointy , but i just prayed to the grandfathers to help me and guide me. i was very sincere i think, because it seemed to work. It seems like living in the tipi was having an affect on me, it started to change the way i felt. I could hear all the sounds around me , the creek i could hear day and night. I could hear the deer outside, and coyotes at night, and the wind and rain. At night when i slept, i could feel insects crawling on me, at first i would jump up alarmed, but eventually i got used to it. I just felt like i was part of the earth. I prayed everyday for help and to be guided in the right direction. I started to have very powerful dreams at night, of course i always had dreams, but these seemed different. Sometimes i would wake up in tears at the beauty of these dreams, but i wasn't convinced it was anymore than a dream. Just a projection of my own thoughts and things i was thinking about everyday.

 

8-28-12 It was in the winter of 1982 i began to think about going on a hill and trying to fast and pray. I didn't have anyone to help me or guide me. I just started praying every day that i could do this and the great spirit would help me. I started to just take walks and try to find a remote place that felt right. I finally chose a certain place that I thought would be good. I think it was late May i prepared by taking 4 sweats or inipis by myself over a week, Then i got up before daylight and went to this place with my pipe, I confess looking back i did not know the correct things as far as a traditional vision quest, but i was very sincere. I got to this place and started to pray mostly for guidance in my life and guidance in these spiritual ways. I was very unsure what to do with my life. And my closeness to nature made me think so much about the harm it seemed like humans were doing to the earth. I prayed over and over about these things. It was in the afternoon it started to rain pretty hard. I was soaking wet but i was determined to stay overnight. I remember holding on to a tree and crying and i continued to pray. It was sometime that night i felt like something inside of me said, I should not worry everything is going the way it's supposed to go"

 I had to think about what that means, i had to give this long thought, but eventually i realized it meant the things happening on the earth are meant to be, and nothing is out of control. After this i just prayed to be some kind of helper for the Great Spirit. I knew i can't really do anything except be like a tool. I promised to do what ever the Great Spirit told me to do. It seemed like after this powerful things started to happen.

 

  9-3-12  I knew i needed help and guidance to learn these traditional ways. I prayed very hard that the creator would guide me somehow to find the right teachers. Later i met a man that was not much older than me , even though he was having his own problems at that time, he agreed to help me. Much of what he knew came from Kenneth Young Bear. Kenneth was a well known spiritual man from North Dakota that lived on the Cheyenne river reservation. He had a certain way of doing things , and i began to learn his way.

  I was told if i wanted to go Vision Quest i should start preparing by staying away from certain things like alcohol, or drugs. And i was to try to pray everyday for guidance. I knew now i would have to really dedicate my life to this. I still had my job on the railroad, but i was able to take quite alot of time off and live on my land in the Tipi. During the summer of 1982 i also began to build a very small log house, It was only 10 ft. by 12 ft.. i put in a foundation but wasn't able to finish it that year. It seemed like my spiritual life was becoming the most important thing for me. And i really liked living in the Tipi now. Although i do remember the next winter being very hard. The snow was waste deep . We had a big snow in October and it stayed all winter. I was lucky i had spent time getting wood for the sweat lodge and for my tipi. I learned the tradition of making tobacco ties , and prayer flags for special prayers. I did this many times that winter and always i prayed for guidance in my life , and that i could be a helper for the creator, And that i would continue to be guided to the right teachers to help me. It was during this winter time i first met Stanley Looking Horse, He would become my most important teacher about these ways, and also became like a father to me.

 

9-10-12  Looking back now it was kind of like a dream living the way i did then. It was very difficult , but at the same time i really liked it. I remember living in the tipi when it was 20 below zero. i had the nine foot liner, and the wood stove. The snow was 3 or 4 feet deep around the tipi so it kind of helped insulate it, but you really had to keep a strong fire going. As soon as it started to die down it got cold quick. I was really having powerful dreams during that time, it was like the creator was really speaking to me. I was praying for guidance about what to do with my life and this place in the Black Hills. One night i woke up in tears, i felt like i had a special dream , and in that dream i was told i should use my land to start a learning center. A place where people could learn things that are being forgotten. I had a very different feeling when i had that dream, it was different than a normal dream. It affected me deeply in a way that's hard to explain with words. I was learning to recognize this feeling, but i also had doubts that it was really the creator speaking to me. Even though i felt it was very different from a normal dream. Maybe it was something that just came from my own mind. I asked the creator to please help me , maybe give me some kind of sign that would help me to know it was not just in my own mind. I think i was praying for some kind of miracle that would help me have strong faith.

 

9-12-12 It's hard to explain what it was really like living that way, in a tipi alone in a very harsh climate. In some ways i remember it being very beautiful going out at night and seeing the stars and the snow sparkling like diamonds. But it was also very difficult and lonely. I think it just made me very humble. I wasn't afraid to cry when i prayed, and i think i cried alot. I kind of felt inside how pitiful i was, so weak in so many ways. But these dreams i was having kept me going. I was having so many dreams about flying , and they seemed so real. I could control where i went and i remember flying over the far ridge to places i wanted to see. When i woke up after one of these dreams i would be very tired like i never really slept. I remember one time i think i had flying dreams for over a week every night, I was exhausted. I felt like i wanted to tie myself down somehow so i could get some rest.

  I kept thinking about the dream that told me to start a learning center, it seemed like the most powerful dream i ever had. I thought that i understood it. In my life i had been trying to learn things that are being forgotten. Like how to tan deer skins, and how to build using logs, also preserving food and canning. As i said before i had ideas for a long time that i wanted to live in these remote places, and learning these things is just part of survival if you want try to live without much money. But it also seemed like there was more to it than just a survival school, i just wasn't sure what yet. But i started to pray about this dream , that i could understand what i was supposed to do, and also that i would meet the right people that could help me. I had that dream in March of 1983. Maybe about a month after that i had a special inipi ceremony , i made prayer flags and really prayed for understanding about this dream. Also i asked that the right people would be guided to me to help me. It was a few days after this special prayer i met a group of women that came to Pine Ridge to open a women's clinic. There was something special about them it seemed like to me. I decided to tell them about the dream i had just to see what they say or think. I told them my story and they listened. One of the women was named Jahanara Romney, her husbands name is Hugh Romney, Also known as Wavy Gravy. They actually had been some of the founders of a commune in California called the Hog Farm. I really hadn't thought about how they might help me. I was really just going on a feeling i had, I prayed for help and teachers and i thought they might be sent to help me somehow. Jahanara said she would think about what i told them, and talk to Wavy, and maybe she would write to me later. A couple of weeks later i received a letter from Jahanara, telling me she had talked to Wavy, and he invited me to come help with a new camp they were making on their property near Latonville California. It was a camp mainly for kids called Camp Winnarainbow. It was going to start in July, and they said they could use some help putting up Tipis, and lots of other things that needed to be done.

 

10-28-12As it got closer to spring, i spent weeks walking in the hills to try to find the right place to Hanblecheya, (or vision quest). I even drove to some other even more remote areas, to see if i could find the right place. To me it didn't matter if i had to build another inipi, i just wanted to find the place that felt right. Finally after much searching i found the place about a mile and a half from my land. It was very remote and it felt good there. I started to go there every chance i had to pray or just sit there and become part of that place.

 As i said before i survived a difficult winter living in the tipi, i felt very humble and pitiful by this time. I decided i would wait until the chokecherrys bloom. According to Kenneths teachings this was the most powerful time to Hanblecheya, because it was the time the animals were being born. It varies when the chokecherrys bloom. On the prairie they can bloom in early or mid May. But at this high elevation they don't bloom until late May. Kenneth also had something called a medicine way, I'm really not sure if it came from his own vision or was passed down to him. It required i get 6 red quilled medicine wheels, one would be attached to each chokecherry tree where i would sit, and one would be attached to my pipe, and one would be attached to an offering pipe i would make. Also on my pipe above the medicine wheel i would attach a pink shell, and then a small buckskin pouch with little bits of everything from the earth. A tiny bit of plants ,animals, insects, etc. This was his own special medicine way.

As the time to hanblecheya got close i prayed more and more for guidance. I was praying everyday, I was very anxious for the day to come. During this time i had put the things i would take on the hill with me in the inipi to purify them . The tradition is to purify these things in the inipi four times before i used them.  I should say now im not telling all the teachings i learned, but some of these things are important to this story . I was very blessed to have such good teachers that taught me these sacred ways. I learned how important it was to do even the small things in a good way. Making sure everything i used was clean and there was enough sage in the inipi, and many other small things. Also because we are all human and make mistakes, i always prayed that anything i did wrong would be overlooked.

Finally the day came, it was actually early June, the chokecherrys had bloomed. Kenneth had a tradition that was different than many teachers, His way was to have the dinner and giveaway before the hanblecheya. A friend of mine from Colorado was very interested in what i was doing and came for the ceremony that day. He didn't know much about these ways but had been to a couple of the sweat lodge ceremonies and wanted to help. I started the fire in the morning for the inipi, i used a certain amount of rocks. These were special rocks i had gotten in Wyoming, they are very heavy black rocks that get very hot and hold the heat a long time. We worked hard to make the fire very strong adding split wood over and over. This would be the last time i would purify my medicine wheels and some other things before the hanblecheya the next day. I remember i became very emotional crying at times. I had waited a long time for this day. I prayed over and over to the creator to please help me and take pity on me. I'm a weak pitiful man.

  After several hours the rocks were white hot, it was time to fill the pipe and begin. We smudged the things we were using with sweet grass and cedar. There were just three of us there. The man helping me and my friend from Colorado and myself. After we sang the pipe songs i put the six red medicine wheels in the inipi frame over where the rocks go. I would be the one to bring in the rocks. After my friend and helper were inside, we place the first six rocks in the proper places smudging each one, and praying over them. Then i started bringing in the rest of the very hot rocks, These rocks were so hot they were scorching their skin, so they had to lay down a little. As i continued bringing in the rocks , i started to smell something like hair burning. I looked inside and saw the red quilled medicine wheels were burning up in the rocks. I quickly tried to get them out, but i only got two, and the other four burnt up. My first thought was now i don't have what i need for my hanblecheya. There was really nothing i could do so i just accepted it. We went on with the inipi ceremony.

 

11-4-12 After the Inipi ceremony was over, we went on to have a dinner and my giveaway, I should say that if it was up to me i would probably just do these things without telling anyone. But i was told that i should do this the traditional way. And that meant having a dinner and giveaway. There weren't very many people there just a few very close friends, and my parents. Maybe 9 or 10 people, i really was pretty poor and did not have that many possessions. I wanted to be sincere and ask the creator to take pity on me and help me. So i gave away most of the things i owned. it felt good to be free of these things in some way. Now i felt like i was ready. After every thing was over my friend from Colorado was taking some photos. He had recently gotten a fairly good camera. I personally took very few photos during this time in my life. After he finished taking photos he told me to take his camera and take some. So after he showed me how i went on the hill and took a photo of the sun setting, and a few other pictures. My friend was going to leave the next morning to go back to Colorado. I would be going on the hill the next evening.

 

12-1-12  Finally the day had come for my vision quest, i spent the day getting ready, and trying to prepare my mind for what would come. I knew it would be difficult, but i was ready to offer my suffering to bring me closer to god. I finished making the tobacco ties that would go around the place where i would sit. These little cloth pouches each with a pinch of tobacco and a prayer would protect me in the place where i would pray.  Once i finished them i took the four chokecherry trees and a large amount of sage i had gotten to the hill i had chosen. I remember i had to make two trips to get everything there. it was about a 3 mile walk up and back. I took a stake and hammer and made holes to put the chokecherry trees in. They were spaced about 7 feet apart in each of the four directions. I put the sage inside this square and made a short prayer that this place would be a sacred place and for the great spirit to take pity on me and give me whatever i needed here.

 I returned back to my land and started the inipi fire. Now i had to prepare my prayer flags that would be tied to the choke cherry trees. This took quite a long time, as i prayed to each direction with a pinch of tobacco, finally my flags were ready. The last thing i had to do was attach the remaining 2 medicine wheels to my pipe and offering pipe. This also took time first i made a small buckskin pouches, and started to gather small bits of all living things from the earth. Just tiny pinches of plant, animal ,earth, bird, to represent all living things. I made very sincere prayers as i gathered these things that they would take pity on me and let me become a helper for our mother earth, and all living things. Then i tied the piece of buckskin shut with some deer sinew. i took the pouch and also a pink shell and the quilled red medicine wheel and attached it to the stem of my pipe. First the red medicine wheel, and next the pink shell, then the buckskin offering pouch. All joined together i tied them to the stem using more deer sinew. I prayed over and over to Tunkashila, please take pity on me. I'm trying to do these things in a good way.

 

  12-15-12  Now the time had come, the rocks were very hot, My helper and I both sang the pipe songs and filled our pipes with canshasha the sacred red willow tobacco. I think at this time it was just such a relief that this time was finally here. I had prayed and thought about it for so long. I was ready to accept whatever came. After the inipi ceremony i took my pipe and a buffalo robe i had gotten and started the walk up to the hill i had chosen, I remember crying on the way asking the creator to please take pity on me and give me whatever i need there. We arrived at the alter i had prepared and tied the prayer flags on the 4 chokecherry trees, then we took the tobacco ties and went around the outside of the chokecherry trees making the sacred circle i would stay inside of. I entered this circle and prayed to each direction and to the sky and earth. then the circle was closed. My helper sang a special hanblecheya song and left. Now i was alone.

  I felt like there was electricity in the air. Maybe it was just me, i had been praying since early in the morning while i prepared these things. Now it was dark and i just kept praying over and over to take pity on me . I was only a weak man i had made many mistakes in my life, i asked that the creator please take pity on me and use me as a helper for our mother earth. I know im not worthy to be a helper to our creator so please help me somehow. I was crying so much, i prayed like this over and over through the night.

   Just as dawn was starting suddenly i saw something, it was a door, a very large powerful door. It was reddish orange a kind of pink, like a sunrise only a thousand times brighter and more beautiful. This door was shiny like a shell, and the top had an angle kind of like a coffin. It was small at the top then it angled out then it went straight down on the sides. It was so beautiful , i knew what it was . It was the door to the spirit world. As i looked at it i felt it changing me. Then a very simple but powerful voice inside of me said. AS LONG AS YOU'RE OUTSIDE YOU MIGHT AS WELL COME ON IN. And the door opened.

 

 12-18-12 Now I'm going to stop the story . I need to say something at this time, it's very hard for me to tell this story. For almost 30 years I've only spoken of these things to a very few friends. There is a traditional belief here that one does not talk about their vision if they receive one. But as i said earlier i had a dream in 2008 that told me to use the miracle i was given, so now I'm trying to do this.

  I know there are only a few that read this and even less that will believe what i say, but to that few i want to ask you to do something for me please. Go alone to your favorite quiet place in nature. Maybe its a mountain top or a hill, or by a stream or river, or maybe by the ocean or deep in a forest. Or maybe it's just a park in a city that's quiet before dawn. Lay down on your mother earth and tell her you love her. You're alone so if you want to cry you can. Hold her and let her hold you. She gave you everything just like your real mother. She can feel your love, and she loves you. Even if it's just for a few minutes, take the time now to be with her and tell her you love her.

 

12-20-12 And a voice said AS LONG AS YOU'RE OUTSIDE ,YOU MIGHT AS WELL COME ON IN, and the door opened. I'm not going to say what i saw inside the door, but it happened fast and then it was gone.

 

 This whole thing happened in a very short time, but i knew somehow my life changed forever. I know you might think this was not that much, but just the fact i now knew god really did exist is a very big thing. This wasn't like any dream , it was real.

 

 12-22-12 It's really difficult to explain how i felt after this. Seeing this door affected me so much. I knew it would take time to understand it, but my faith was affected immediately. Now i knew God was real and it was up to me if i was worthy to be a helper or not. I began praying again thanking the creator for the great blessing i was given. I felt so humbled by even just the short presence of this great miracle.

 As the sun came up and the day started i began to feel thirst. The inipi the day before had been very hot. I felt my body start to desire water. But the miracle of the pink door and the voice i heard was inside me now. I offered this little suffering as thanks for the blessing i had received. I continued to pray , asking god to take pity on me, and give me whatever i needed to make me be a better person. Make me worthy to be a helper for the creator and mother earth. As the day went on it became hot and my thirst became greater. I knew i would be tested here.  I had been instructed to watch even the smallest things, like insects and birds and animals. Later that afternoon the clouds started to come. They offered relief from the heat. Soon it began to rain, it was such a blessing to catch these raindrops in my mouth, like a gift from the creator. But it began to pour rain. I had a star quilt, and a buffalo robe to protect me. But before long they were soaked. I began to get very cold , i was soaking wet. I continued to pray thanking the creator for the blessing i received, and asking to please accept my suffering now as wopila, or thanks.

  It continued raining for hours, now it was getting dark ,and i was so cold, At this elevation , about 6000 ft. it can get very cold at night. As it got dark i remember i could not even see my hand, it was pitch black . I had great faith now that everything was for a reason. I remember i was so cold my teeth were chattering so much. I think it was just my bodies way of fighting hypothermia. My whole body was shivering. As the night went on every minute seemed like an hour. There was no way to relax in this kind of suffering, now it was up to god if i live or die. Before the sun came up it began to snow just a very wet snow. Now i couldn't really think of anything except the pain my body felt. It was tempting to just get up and leave. In 30 minutes i could be at my land and get warm. I think it was the blessing of the vision i received that kept me there that day. My buffalo robe was so wet it was of no use. It continued to rain all day. Later my shivering was starting to be less, i think my body had used up its energy to try to survive. I remember going in and out of sleep. Now i was so weak i don't think i could have left even if i wanted to. It continued to rain. I was unconscious when my helper came in the early evening. I was able to wake up and with their help i stumbled down to the camp. They had tried to start a fire for the inipi, but all the wood was so wet from the rain. Together we finally managed to get a fire by using small kindling. After an hour or so the rocks were fairly hot, and we had the ceremony, i told of the vision i was blessed with. Then we finished.

 

 12-24-12 I took a couple of days to try to recover a little. Of course i thought alot about what had happened to me, i knew i had received something special when i was there. It was almost too much for my mind to really comprehend. I kind of felt afraid to go out in a public place, like others would see i was different. I decided i would make some prayer flags and take them to the place where the sacred pipe is kept, in Green Grass SD. I wanted to offer them in thanks for the vision i had received. It was about a 200 mile trip, at that time i rode a motorcycle sometimes. So i decided to ride it there.

  I arrived in Green Grass and pulled up to the house there . Earlier that winter i had met Stanley Looking Horse for the first time. Stanley and his wife Cecielia spoke just a little English, but they seemed very kind to me. As i pulled up on my bike i saw some activity near the inipi. I got off and walked over to it and met Silas High Elk and his son Arlee, Stanley was there too. I was told they were about to have a ceremony for a man that was on the hill for hanblecheya. He would be coming down soon and they invited me to come into the inipi with them. I was happy to accept their invitation.

 

  04-11-13  After the rocks were ready they went and got the man and brought him down to the inipi, He was an older man in his 50s. I could tell he suffered a great amount and i felt compassion for him, because i had gone through the same thing a few days earlier. We sang the pipe songs and prayed , then we went into the inipi. I sat next to Stanley, he was pouring the water.  Really i just remember it was very hot, and the prayers were very long. They all spoke lakota and i only could understand a little. These men were all very sincere in their prayers. When it was my turn to pray , i told what hapened to me a few days earlier in my own vision quest. Arlee was the translator for me. I know they had heard the visions of many men and women before, but they were very kind to me , and encouraged me to tell about it.

  After i was finished and Stanley had finished his prayer, we opened the door and we smoked the pipe. I felt so good to be here with these men at this time. Their faith was very strong, and i could feel it. After smoking the pipe Stanley spoke to the man that had just finished his hanblecheya, he spoke a long time in Lakota. When he was done speaking to him, he also spoke to me about what had just happened to me in my vision quest, Arlee was able to tell me what he said in english. It was very powerful for me. I felt like i had been guided to this place to be with them on that day.